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IBARW: Talking about our intersectionality
A couple of really great conversations are going on right now, talking about stresses within and between different folks under oppression. Including how folks get played into oppressing each other. And these are conversations that need to happen.
But.
These conversations only work under the understanding of the larger context of intersectionality and what it means to be an ally.
For example, if an asian woman is talking about the bullshit of asian-am men playing the "you belong to us card", my place in the conversation is to shut up, listen, and, if I'm willing to think hard, ask questions and not expect anyone to hold my hand, give me a cookie, or educate my dumb ass. My place is not to defend myself, shut her down, or make it about me.
But, that same issue? Often gets used by white folks about "Oh, see how much MORE sexist THEY are than us?" Just as much as Oppression Olympics don't do no good, neither does Oppressor Olympics ("But LOOK AT THEM!"). That's also not being an ally.
The point of it is we're here to talk about us, as individuals and as communities, and how we relate, right or wrongly with each other. And how we can come to a place where we treat each other right with respect. If you're not coming with the idea that you're going to have to put work in? Then you're here for the wrong reasons.
The dialogue is about the issues we have as people, not to mistake the people AS the issues.
And that's really the difference between trying to work it out vs. giving it lip service to protect your privilege.
But.
These conversations only work under the understanding of the larger context of intersectionality and what it means to be an ally.
For example, if an asian woman is talking about the bullshit of asian-am men playing the "you belong to us card", my place in the conversation is to shut up, listen, and, if I'm willing to think hard, ask questions and not expect anyone to hold my hand, give me a cookie, or educate my dumb ass. My place is not to defend myself, shut her down, or make it about me.
But, that same issue? Often gets used by white folks about "Oh, see how much MORE sexist THEY are than us?" Just as much as Oppression Olympics don't do no good, neither does Oppressor Olympics ("But LOOK AT THEM!"). That's also not being an ally.
The point of it is we're here to talk about us, as individuals and as communities, and how we relate, right or wrongly with each other. And how we can come to a place where we treat each other right with respect. If you're not coming with the idea that you're going to have to put work in? Then you're here for the wrong reasons.
The dialogue is about the issues we have as people, not to mistake the people AS the issues.
And that's really the difference between trying to work it out vs. giving it lip service to protect your privilege.
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"I wonder," he said "whether indie game publishing is more or less sexist than the culture at large?"
"Why does it matter?" I said "You don't get a prize for being 'not the most-sexist.' Sexism exists in the indie publishing world, and that's our community, and so we have responsibilities to our colleagues to at least address it."
yrs--
--Ben
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It's not more complicated than our basic concept of play: Don't be a dick to the people you hang out with.
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